15 Years!

Today is the first time in 15 years. 

My brother, Trevor, turns 15 today!!! 

Unfortunately, I cannot be there to help celebrate. This marks the first time in 15 years. The fact that distance prevents this in-person appearance sucks like pickled pigs' feet with a side of cottage cheese dipping sauce. I hate it. The only thing that contents me is knowing that he and my family will be in Chicago on Thursday to celebrate the decade and a half in the nation's third largest city for the entire weekend!

So now comes the planning phase and I need help!!! I've only been here for a half of a year (more like two months after snowmageden) and I need help finding the best spots for adventure in Chicago!

Comment with some hot spots, activities and restaurants and help me make Trev's 15 the best B-DAY yet!

Chi-Love,

J-ROD

Birthdays Abroad

I don't know about you, but linking my Facebook calendar with my iPhone cal has both eased and overwhelmed me when it comes to those ever "special" events. Most commonly, birthdays create this complexing sensation within me. 

Somebody has a birthday every (stinkin') day of the week. In fact, I find my average of one-year older social representations of human beings to be four a day. I know there are only 365 days in most years. But, when 12 profiles all have the same supposed date of birth, I get a tad thrown off.

I will speak for everyone when I say that the "Happy Birthday" posts touching just north of 100 by noon does not have the same affect as it did the first year, the second or even the seventh. Some of my friendly beings shut-off his/her Facebook, completely, on that oh so special day. On the other side of that keyboard is an ever supportive friend who just wants you to know that he/she cares and is still alive. However, the constant fear of ridicule and  rejection for what you post on this annual achievement in one's progression to death deters me from posting that simple phrase. This then pushes me to create better content: unique and/or witty. Sometimes it's typing a little memory of the certain someone and I causing mayhem, though now it's turned into adding 27 absurd emoji in the most random order as if it were a secret code for "I care, but COME ON!" 🙈

When I was in Omaha, I could at least entertain the thought of making those special visits to meet someone in the flesh. You know... touch them; kiss them; thrust them. But now, I can't even consider this opportunity. (even if I decide not to attend and continue watching the Law & Order: SVU marathon in my underwear)

So, I have come to the point of blunt realization that I need to innovate my birthday communications and push myself into the realm of the unknown. Thus, I have provided a list of (semi) new ways to communicate the well wishes without wishing you hadn't.

1) Snapchat video

2) Vine memory via reenactment 

3) Friend deliver balloon with your picture as their face

4) Facebook scavenger hunt

5) Trend your friend on Twitter

6) Instagram their face on a stick in public

7) Chalk @ a cool place 

8) Broadcast a special report of strangers wishing a Happy B-DAY

9) Prank call as a sexy potential mate (sexy voiced friends need apply)

10) Send a hand-made card from the <3

What are some ways you have been able to make that Birthday special? Comment below. 

I NEED TO KNOW!  :D

Chi-Love,

J-ROD

Secret Admirer #2 - Heart Attack

Cardiac Arrest is a serious subject. 

One second, a man is tapping his foot in utter disgust while waiting for his morning lava java. (as if his tardiness is never to blame) The next second, he is on the floor, eyes searching for understanding while his body begins the internal quest for complete, eternal shutdown. 

I immediately spring into action with chest compressions. I'm sure Barbara, my lovely, Nebraskan CPR Instructor, would be proud. During circuits of compressions and mouth-to-mouth, my mind attempts to fathom what this complete stranger, this man, is thinking. 

Is it for his immediate recovery where like a Junior Varsity cheer dictator he chants me on, "BE AGRESSIVE, B-E-AGRESSIVE"? Is it in line with his recent divo-tude where he faults the entire Starbucks franchise at her lack of urgency and care as well as the indecisive moron at the counter, two professionals ahead, who finally ordered that tall, black coffee?  

Adversely, does he visualize his future like that of Scrooge? Is his life only that of  unbearable pain and suffering if he refuses to correct his ways? Maybe, he reverts back to childhood memories like that in the cinemas seeing his parents in slow motion, radiant, with smiles and joy? Are his most distant memories his most present thoughts? Or, are his last thoughts his most recent memory? 

Does he reminisce in kissing his daughter's tender forehead on his way out to work this morning while she sleeps not knowing this could be her final moments with her beloved father? 

Does he think of anything at all? 

Fortunately, that is not the type of "heart attack" I am talking about in this edition of Secret Admirer. 

In ordering my usual CLR, the counter has stepped-up the flirt. Just see my cup.

This and a smile leads me to believe someone enjoys my presence in the morning. 

...Plus, treat receipts are back! 

Chi-Love,

J-ROD

Secret Admirer

So something happened in the universe and I now have a secret admirer... Well... not-so secret admirer.

It all began with my daily Starbucks run, yesterday. (I know, Starbucks is expensive. But I'm in training and need my caffine!)

Jamming to my usual Ke$ha tracks, I pull-up my Starbucks app. Waiting behind the common 13-15 neatly pressed suits in front of me, I begin the process of deciding whether today would be different from the rest. Would I make the rebellious decision to chose a new, alien beverage or commit to the delicious, morning favorite of the Cool Lime Refresher?  As usual, the wait is more of a slow walk as the pace of the counter matches the "freaky fast" motto of the popular sandwich competitor. Briskly meeting the counter, I stick to the Trenta CLR and deliver the news. While scanning the nifty bar code for payment and rewards via my mobile phone, I'm asked the question, 

"What's your name?"  

Non-chalantly, I respond, "J-ROD". The counter then moves on with it's rapid requests from potential customers as I move on with my day.

23.97 hours later, I repeat the above routine as if it were to appear in the directions of my daily shampoo. I reach the counter and deliver the autobiography of my recent beverage past. When my name is requested, I respond, again, without care or hesitation, "J-ROD". However, the response is not the same. The counter responded with:

"Oh, J-ROD! You were in here yesterday."

The voice is certain making the statement, not asking for agreement. 

"I can't remember what you ordered, but I remember you."

As if a line from a recent RomCom with Cameron Diaz, the script demands a delayed response from surprise and brief-confusion as it is still the early hours. 

"Yeah."

The counter smiles. 

"I like your shorts."

I fumble the scanning of payment. 

"Oh, thanks. They're from J Crew."

There is no need to name drop, but it happens.

"Really? J Crew. Cool!"

Finally scanning successfully, the counter continues.

"All right you're all set. Have a great day,  'J-ROD'!"

"You too!"

Not losing my cool, I shuffle over to the by-standing mass of wrist watching suits. Knowing there's at least the 13-15 suits ahead of me, my CLR's ETA is 5-10 minutes. 

"Tall Non-fat Mocha for Coleen" 

That's one called out. Five seconds later... 

"Cool Lime Refresher." 

Seeing it's a Trenta and CLRs are not all the rage, I stand back waiting for purposefull movement from the mass. With no name announced and the Starbusk's Siren facing the crowd, I take cautious steps to the too-soon-to-be-true cup of caffine-infused goodness. As I slowly turn the cup to view the Sharpie handwriting, I see my alias (misspelled) surrounded by stars!

I immediately smile. My hurried pace turns into a cool strut as I leave the shop and head to work.

Will we meet again? Will "the counter" be named? Find out next time on CHIcano's Secret Admirer.  ;)

Chi-Love,

J-ROD

The New Chicago Craze

Parking spots are about as precious as your first born in Chicago.

Thus, the people of Chicago have decided on a single item display to portray possession of space on the public thoroughfare we commonly know as streets. This obviously agreed-upon item is known as a "parking chair". Yes, it is typically a weather resistant, lawn chair, but can also include dining and desk chairs, or, for the more creative Chicagoans, stools.

This phenomenon is well known and has been a Chicago staple for some time as cars are neither new nor trendy. However, mi amigo, Miguel, and I have discovered a new trend.

"Handle Pillows"

With bike sharing all the craze in Chicago and Divvy the main provider, you can find commonwealth bike stalls all over. With the vast amount of stalls and bikes available throughout the city, one would think bike availability would not be an issue. 

Nay.

One may feel the need to reserve his/her bike one night prior to ensure the bike's availability so he/she may sleep easily knowing there will be no turmoil the following morn. But, what could possibly accomplish this important feat? 

Not a chair, of course, as it is much to big. 

Not a skittle for it is much too small. 

However, a pillow fits just right! 

Unfortunately, even with our belief of it being the perfect fit, the pillow was found the following morn as it lay in defeat amongst an empty stall.

Thus, I have come up with 10 better placeholders for reserving that ever popular Divvy bike.

1) Peanut Butter

2) A Pair of Dirty Socks

3) A Baby Doll with a Lazy Eye

4) A Hot Potato

5) Moldy Cheese

6) Three Thumbtacks

7) TP

8) One Giant Egg

9) A Sticky Note reading "You're about to die!"

10) A Dead Rat

Or...

BUY YOUR OWN BIKE!

Chi-Love,

J-ROD

Holiday Happy Hour

In case you didn't know, Omaha is taking over Chicago. Furthermore, we tend to reunite often just to reemphasize our plans for total infiltration.

Today, we met for American tea and biscuits at Buena Park's own Holiday Club. This little joint on the north west corner of Sheridan and Irving Park seems to be one of the most well known restaurant/bars even though it is established well north of most popular destinations near the Loop. 

We may have discovered why.

1) The Specials

Everyday, there are cheap dinner and drink specials. When I say cheap, I mean Ronald McDonald tweaks. Juicy pulled-pork sandwhich with a fresh, dry slaw on top complimented with a mound of thick, julienne seasoned fries priced at a flat $5. Pair that with a $3, ice-cold, domestic bottle or PBR draft and you got yourself a new Monday Night Cap.

2) The Fries

Brian, Ashley and I all agree. Whether it's the vivid, sweet potato fries or the classic, seasoned fries, these fries are phenom! The classic, seasoned fries take the shape of thick, BK fries, but convey the hearty taste of an Arby's curly fry. Like an aged grill, you could taste the kitchen's seasoned life in each bite. Like Orange is the New Black or crack, every bite is more addicting than the next. Tears form when you realize there's no more.

3) The View

The view of sexy runners running past the bar was spectacular! I could sit there all day and enjoy the heavenly-crafted bodies glistening in the sun. Just order some crack fries and I'm "satisfried". 

I know most of them are just showing-off and I could probably lap them power-walking, but I don't mind the view. :P 

(The above views in point #3 may not be shared by the others in my party.)

Chi-Love,

J-ROD

7 Eleven... Make a Wish!

Pina Colada, Watermelon, a little Lemonade and topping it off with more watermelon (what can I say, I like my melons) makes THE BEST, free Slurpee on 7 Eleven's Free Slurpee Day. Yes, that day is TODAY - 7/11!

The crazy part is that this day would be well short of exciting for me if it were only 6 months ago.

As a kid, I remembered two amazing things about 7 Eleven: Surge was on tap and Slurpees! However, Omaha lost its 7 Elevens before I hit puberty. Thus, 7 Eleven was like a distant dream of a place I once knew but could never revisit. One where ponies could fly and pigs had horns. I never thought I would see the day where I could double fist a Surge Big Gulp and Blue-Raspberry Slurpee ever again.

Thursday marks half a year of living across the street from my own, personal 7 Eleven. (I know its a public establishment, but one can faux bloat) Lazy J goes there at all times of the day to grab a Big Gulp, Cheddar & Sour Cream Ruffles, White Castle Cheeseburgers, 2 Liters of Diet Coke or, of course, the classic, heavenly body of the Slurpee. Slap me if you must, but free Slurpee Day at 7 Eleven brings back the memories and puts me in the present more than any McDonald's Playland or episode of Doug.

I still cannot believe my journey to where I am today - Chicago, Illinois. Commuting everyday, I am still the only person awkwardly smiling on the Redline with Ke$ha's Animal roaring through my earbuds, sometimes lip-syncing and hip-thrusting, but quickly shifting back into neutral after noticing the whole car staring. Chicago embodies adventure. She embodies opportunity. She embodies life. With every day comes a new adventure, new opportunity and, best of all, a new life. Its been 6 months and life has been Pharrell, for real. Blogging seems like the only logical way to share these adventures, opportunities and my life with friends and family back home and the rest of the world who might just like sharing in my love for Chicago!

Thus, I have published my first blog post of my new blog: CHIcano. Yes, it is a play on words mixing my ethniCITY. (Ja, did it again!) Let me know some feedback! ...how you like it, if there are things you want to see or things you want to forget you ever saw, etc. I want to make this as fun for you as it will be for me. Thus, the purpose of a blog!  :)


By the way, where did Surge go?

Can it come back soon? I still can't adequately double fist my past.


Chi-Love,
J-ROD